drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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