She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize