Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
