i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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