ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
