it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
