But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
