Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
