we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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