Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
