So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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