for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
