I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
