Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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