Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bring me that man meat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
