worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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