I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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