who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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