Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
