and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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