It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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