Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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