her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
