phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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