I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
