Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
