That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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