the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
