Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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