I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
