don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
