Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love you. Go after that dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
