I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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