Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
