So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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