im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
