i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
