Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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