Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
