I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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