Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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