if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
