we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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