i barfeds in our rink
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
