dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
