I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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