3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dick very happy bro
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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