hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
