...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
