my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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