Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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